Hello Dannavy,
I saw the link to your fanfic on the thread that AprilSeven posted but I thought it was more appropriate to post this comment in this thread. I was curious about your story so I decided to read it. I think the dynamic between Mars and Atlas is interesting. Despite that the two have somewhat similar backgrounds (like they both have strict fathers), the two have very different personalities that clash.
However, I do think you over exaggerated Marss mischievous nature. Mars is mischievousness is more playful than crude. Rather than throwing crude insults at others, hed rather play practical jokes. A lot of the insults that Mars said in this fic are things that Mars probably couldnt come up with because hes too young. Most of the time, hes just having fun and he doesnt intend to make enemies. He even played a joke on Miri once and he loves Miri a lot. Although Mars has flaws (hey, we all do) Mars isnt a mean-spirited kid.
Mars is also very naive and innocent. I dont think that he would make sexual jokes. He might joke by asking Do you like Epsilon? but I dont think he would make sexual references. He wouldnt understand that kind of humor in the first place because of his age.
If Astro and Atlas made him clean up the vehicles he might not expect that theyre doing this to spite him because hes naïve. He might wonder why they made him to this, however and if he doesnt like what hes doing, he probably would just leave.
Not to say that there are situations where Mars would get angry and throw an insult or two. He does have his bratty moments; hes very much like a young human child. He mischievous but hes also playful and naive. The issue that I have is that Marss characterization is a bit one sided and over exaggerated.
I hope this helps; good luck for the rest of your story.
