Astro Boy: Doomsday

[CrazyEyes]

I've managed to find the first chapter of my first Astro Boy story:

Astro Boy
Doomsday
A fanfic by CrazyEyes

Chapter One-The Mysterious Destruction of Venus
There were times when Dr. Winston O’Hara wished he were back on Earth; instead of sitting on Venus waiting for test results. Every time he felt like this, he mind was suddenly drawn to his son; Tamao. He turned away for the sight in front of him and removed the small locket that was around his neck. He opened it slowly and saw his son’s face staring up at him through his thick, brown glasses. He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the opera music being played into the control room calm his nerves.
Only a few more weeks left; only a few more weeks until I can see Tamao again.
He opened his eyes again and swirled back round to face the huge Perspex window, which allowed him to see the many mining robots at work, digging deep into the planet’s core. According to his bosses; there was some kind of material that could be used for military purposes. Personally, he didn’t like the idea of handing over a high dangerous material over to the military, but the money he would receive upon re-arrival on Earth would be more than enough for him and Tamao to disappear, to start a new life outside Metro City and away from the eyes of the corporation. After his wives death 4 years ago; he’d learn to appreciate Tamao, to do whatever he could to protect him. Before that time, he wasn’t even sure he realised that he had a son. He would spend hours at work, trying to come up with new formulas or something else scientifically that would help mankind and satisfy his bosses in their big offices. He closed his eyes once again and suddenly and without reason remembered the death of his dear wife. She was standing in the centre of Metro City, with little Tamao wrapped around her beautiful arm. A group of robot terrorists, led by Skunk, had tried to take over the Ministry Of Science; but had been stopped by the brave and gallant Blue Knight. This was before Astro Boy’s time, and Winston couldn’t help but wonder, if Astro Boy was alive, would his wife still be with them? He had spent sleepless nights thinking about this; nights which he would never get back. His wife had tried running towards the subway, but the robots didn’t want anything leaving the area. He had arrived moments before, standing on top of the ministry as the robot struck her down with a rusty blade. Her blood had stained the street, leaving Tamao alone to defend for him against the group of terrorists. Luckily, Blue Knight intervened and saved Tamao, a debt that he still intended to pay. From that day forward, Tamao had hatred for robots and to the Blue Knight; even though he’d saved his life. Tamao believed that he was weak, too weak to save his own mother. As life would unfold over the years, Tamao would learn to forgive robots, but he was still unsure about his feeling for Blue Knight. As for himself, Winston didn’t have any emotions; he could afford too. As he came back to the present day; the door burst open. He turned, surprised to see the head of the robot mining team role in. He rose and the robot suddenly stopped.
“What is it B4-90? I’m busy.”
His delivery was blunt, but all he wanted to do was be alone.
B4-90 beeped a few more times before speaking.
“Sir…we have a serious problem!”

The hovertrain was empty. Winston glanced at his watch and knew why; it was almost midnight. The workers didn’t finish work for another 8 hours, but he didn’t hear any drilling or noise. He was about to ask B4-90 about it, but knew that he would find out when they reached the station. He sat at the back, legs crossed, glancing out at the purplish landscape, which was completely empty, when it should have been full of robots digging. B4-90 was over by the recharger. As the hovertrain turned the final corner before the station, it suddenly lost all power. As Winston rose, all the glass suddenly shattered, sending shards scattering across the floor. A few shards hit his helmet, but they harmlessly bounced off. B4-90 was already at the door, opening it with great strain.
Stupid door, the override system must have been activated when the train lost power. It’s a good think that the external security procedures are still working.
Winston went under his seat and pulled out a blaster, which was shaped like a shotgun. He ran towards the now open door, which led to a sudden drop into a bottomless mineshaft. B4-90 had activated its boosters and flew over to an emergency platform that led to the station. Winston took a deep breath and flung himself over; B4-90 reached out and grabbed him just in case. When both had recovered; they took off towards the station. As they got closer, Winston could begin to hear something that sounded like fire. He jumped up onto the station and raised his rifle, wondering if maybe the fire-producing robots that fuel the furnaces were behind this. B4-90 floated over and landed in front of a door which led to the corridor which led to a life, which lead to the main mining area. Winston lowered his rifle and slowly approached, watching the shadows for any sign of danger. As he reached the door, B4-90 raised its claw; and exploded. The force sent Winston into one of the stone pillars which supported the roof. He fell to the floor and slowly looked over at the door, which now no longer existed. A smoking pile of metal, circuits and mega drives lay in front of it, the resting place of B4-90. Winston frowned and slowly got up.

There was no power in the corridor, so he had to rely on the small powered torch built into his suit. Steam pipes have ruptured all over, forming a curtain around him and the path ahead. He now had his rifle out in front; he didn’t want to take any chances, not with what just happened to B4-90. He had no idea why he had exploded, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it. The steam build-up had gotten a lot worse since he’d first arrived, but he had now arrived at the service elevator which would take him to ground zero. As the power was out, he had to activate the backup source, which was going to take about 3 minuets to activate. After standing around for 2 minuets, he could suddenly hear something behind him. He spun round, his rifle raised. There was a buzzing; just before B4-90 dived forward. Winston fired, the small bolt bouncing off the robots head. Both bodies met and they fell, just as the life started going down. Winston kicked B4-90 away, taking note of his appearance. He had many components missing, and his form was missing huge chunks. It was as if something had stuck him back together in 30 seconds flat. In conclusion, he was a robot freak. Its claws begun to him as they shot off, heading straight for Winston’s knee. It took a huge chunk out as it retuned, similar to a boomerang. Winston fell to his knees, as B4-90 flew forward again. Winston raised his riffle and smacked it round the head with the end, sending it into the back wall. Winston then opened fire once again, more and more shots reflecting into the wall behind him. The lift then suddenly stopped and the doors opened, letting in hot; humid wind. Winston struggled and stood up and ran out, just as the doors began to close. B4-90 got in their way, his face visible between the almost closed doors. Winston turned away as they fully closed; B4-90’s life ended for a second time as it’s now deactivated head fell to the ground.
What the hell was that? How did he return to life?
He walked forward again, his leg bleeding; leaving a trail behind him. According to the schematics of the area, the mining should be going on right in front of him. As he arrived in the area, he gasped at what he saw. The mining robots were active, but were glancing up at the sky; where there was nothing.
What is this? Have they gone insane? It would explain B4-90.
Then, suddenly, something began to form in the sky above. He then felt something on the back of his leg; it was the head of B4-90. A wire coming out of its mouth had; for some unknown reason, shot into his leg wound and was now glowing. He fell to his knees again, his eyes full of tears.
What the hell is going on? What is that think?
The object in the sky began clear suddenly. It was robotic, and it filled the skyline like a huge behomet. It had no real form; it looked just like a big ball of robotic material.
“Who are you? What the hell is going on?”
The mining robots suddenly stopped looking and drew their attention on him; making his blood run cold. They began moving forward, their mining drills spinning.
I have only one chance. I hope this works
Winston quickly went into his suit and pulled out the locket containing the picture of Tamao. He quickly removed the picture and pressed a small, red button that was concealed behind it. A blue, energy bubble surrounded him, which cut the wire from his wound. The robots tried to drill through the bubble, but to no avail. He glanced up and noticed that he could no longer see the form.
So that’s what that wire did.
He then began to hear a humming; which he recognised as a self-destruction sequence. The mining robots exploded in some kind of sequence. As the sky began to light up like a huge fire; Winston closed his eyes and cried;

“Goodbye Tamao!!!”



What does everyone think? If you like this, you'll like the rest. Dr. Winston is my own character, along with B4-90. If you wanna know what happens in some of my other chapters, here's a list

1) In chapter 3, it's Astro vs. Atlas. The title is "One Wins, One Dies"

2) Blue Knight and Big X are gonna team up to help Astro

3) Pluto and the other 3 'Strongest Robots In The World' (frrom Astro Boy: Omega Factor On GBA) are gonna appear

4) Atlas will appear in a solo adventure, where he must battle himself as a child.

If you have any other ideas, let me know.

[jeffbert]

The story is interesting, but compared to LLJade's fanfic, it lacks detail. You mention opera music, but fail to specify an opera. Be more specific with such details. You should give better descriptions of the locket, the 4-90 robot, the man, etc.

Another point is typos. I could have counted over 2 dozen. I cite 1 as an example. You use correct spelling but the wrong words:
" After his wives death 4 years ago" Was this guy a Mormon or Arab?
Why have wives?

I suggest you reread this thing, and consider the words you use.

[LLJade]

Interesting beginning so far, I like it alot and I look foward to more. I do have one small thing to say on the upcoming chapter 3. *throws herself at your feet* PLEASE DON'T KILL ATLAS! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE, PLEASE DON'T KILL ATLAS!!!!*sobs*

Looking foward to reading that solo adventure with Atlas, sounds like it'll be cool. Oh, do you have MSN, Yahoo messanger, or AIM, because maybe we could talk more on Astro Boy fan fics.

Lauren