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THE DO NOTHING DAYS
by Dan

“If I get into trouble, don’t blame me. I was suckered into it by the Tree Fort Gang.”
Astro

Metro City
A lame summer day

Reno was sleeping…till someone started messing with his cheek. He flipped a hand up to shake the offender off but the persistent troublemaker continued to mess around. Reno threw a slap and felt his hand hit hard enough to wake him up. “Ouch!”

“That was smart.” Astro said as he lay smiling. Next to him Kennedy was chuckling.

“Do that again Ken and I’ll pound you one.” Reno warned. They both scowled at each other till Astro became the focus of their pecking and pulling.

“Cut it out guys!” Astro complained as the two boys messed around and pulled on the synthetic skin of Astro’s cheeks. “We need to find something better to do!”

Kennedy turned to Reno. “Can we get the MOS submarine?”

“Nope.” Reno replied. “In for repairs. What about the Captain?”

Astro sighed. “Timao has it spread all over his garage.”

“That’s like the seventh time in two weeks he’s taken it apart!” Ken complained.

“When there’s nothing to do, you gotta destroy something.” Reno said as he sat up and yawned. “Yes Sir, this is indeed one of those “do nothing” days.”

Ken turned to Astro. “Well you could take us anywhere right?”

Astro snorted. “Look at me…do I look like rapid transit? Last time I looked I didn’t have a fare box on my butt.”

“Well what are we going to do all day, lay around here?” Reno gestured around the grass covered hill. “I think we should go to the video arcade and loose a few yen coins.”

Astro scratched his head for a moment. “We need to solve something.”

Ken shuddered. “Oh here we go again. Scooby Doo is thinking.”

“Yeah…” Reno groaned. “Last time we went on one of your crusades Astro, I had to face the doc from behind a set of jail bars.”

Astro smirked. “That’s what Delta got for grandstanding. He never would have caught the rest of the Skunk Shocker gang without us.”

“We wouldn’t have spent a night in jail when you decided “stay away” meant “tease the big angry robot cop.” Ken said as he got up and started walking off.

“Where you going Ken?” Astro asked as he followed the boy down the hill with Reno behind them.

“I’m going home to take a nap since there’s nothing else going on.” Ken replied. Astro got in front of him and slowed him down…

“Oh come on Kennedy, where’s your spirit of adventure?” Astro asked. “How about? The forest near Otashima?”

Reno jumped. “You’re not serious.”

“What? Oh great, you call yourself the big robot expert scientist and you’re going to believe some wild haunted forest story?” Astro crossed his arms. “I’m shocked at you Reno.”

“Well a lot of the stories are true.” Ken replied. “There was a great battle up in those woods during the Warring States Era, the whole place is a sacred tomb.”

Astro frowned. “It’s also rumored to be an archeological and historic gold mine. Just think of how cool it would be for you guys to be in all the news reports…”Brave boys endure legend to find historical national treasures! Reno the young robotic scientist honored with national fellowship! But…you two want to sit here and pull grass all day fine by me.”

Astro started to trot off leaving Reno and Kennedy to moap atop the hill. “I’m not going to fall for it are you?” Reno asked Kennedy.

“I don’t want to sit up here and be called a chicken. Why should Astro get all the publicity?”

“We’re begging for it I’m telling you!” Reno said as they ran to catch up with the boy bot.

Hours later
Small trolly station near Mount AyoYama

The forest of Otashima surrounded a long silent volcanic mountain called AyoYama. Ayo village had almost been left untouched by the centuries since the great turmoil of the Japanese civil war, a small farming community with only the most scant of visible modern era convinces and technologies. There had indeed been a massive battle here between two ruling warloads, over 300,000 Samurai and soldiers clashed in 3 days of mighty combat. The woodlands around AyoYama were considered haunted, filled with demons and spirits still fighting over the collective treasures of the two Diymo houses.

Now Astro stood smirking on the trolly landing. He could hear Kennedy swallow behind him. “Anyone needing a bathroom better go now.”

Reno suddenly sounded confident. “Hmph! I think Astro’s right…they’re just old stories and legends.”

Ken moaned. “Suck up.”

“Who you calling a suck up!” Reno snorted out.

“I think the fights with the demons in the hills you two.” Astro pointed out. “We gotta find a camping spot before dark.”

The three boys wandered past small farming lots and followed a stone wall towards a path heading into the woods. Reno reached into his backpack and pulled out a small history book “Secrets of the Samurai” where he book marked a chapter on the legendary battle of Otashima. “It says here that the Daiymo Nakadoshi had his headquarters on the Western flank of Ayo while Daiymo Yunagishima had his to the East on the Kobogorei Mastiff.”

“Whatsa whosit so what?” Kennedy snorted. “Right now all I care about is pitching our tents. It’s getting darker by the minute in here.”

Astro smiled. “Yeah…better duck into the flaps before the big bad Samurai comes to cut our heads off!” The robot boy rose on his tip toes and shook his arms about. “Blah!!!”

“Stop being silly Astro!” Kennedy fussed.

“Ken, you shouldn’t be scared at all. I’m right here. No one’s going to get you while I’m around.”

Ken gave Reno a smirk. “Very over-confident.”

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t build him.” Reno replied.

Soon the three were pitching up their tents in a clearing surrounded by a bamboo grove in the valley between the mountain and the mastiff. When Kennedy worried about the amount of light, Astro turned on his 2,000 lumin eyes and all but blinded his companions.

“Ouch! Turn it down!”

“I’m seeing spots now.”

“Sorry you guys.” Astro dimmed his eye lights and pulled a thick sweater from a backpack.

“A robot with a sweater, now that’s a joke.” Reno snorted. “You have internal heating, why wear that?”

Astro pulled on the wool. “Because…Zoran made it for me and she’d be heartbroken if I didn’t.”

Kennedy laughed. “A kitty cat? LOL! A pink cat! LOL!”

“Shut it Ken! It was her idea!” Astro snorted out.

“She sure wanted to embarrass you didn’t she Astro!?” Reno laughed.

“One more word out of you Reno and you can cook your own dinner.” Astro snapped. A sudden rustle of trees around them and the sounds of crashing bamboo poles sent Reno and Ken climbing all over the robot boy…

“UGH! GET OFF YOU TWO!” Astro said as he gently pushed the two boys off. “Man you guys are a pair of jumping beans! It’s just the wind and some cut up bamboo falling from a table or something….get a grip!”

Ken smirked. “Meow….pink pussy cat.”

“Just for that Ken? You can eat raw hot dogs.” Astro fussed as he walked around gathering sticks and rocks for the fire. Reno walked behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Sorry. Did we get on your nerves?”

Astro sighed. “No…I don’t have any remember? I just can’t figure out what the big deal is with humans and fantastic tales, you guys are so gullible to fall for someone’s cooked up fantasy of ghouls, demons and spirits of the dead. Heck, after seeing the movies you humans watch it’s no wonder you jump at a dumb twig.”

“It’s fun!” Reno said smiling. “We just enjoy getting scared every so often. I forgot that you haven’t really experienced fear yet. Problem is you’re way too analytical, you explain everything so quick and easily you never give yourself time to enjoy….well obviously you can’t get wet down there anyways.”

Astro smirked. “Getting scared over something logical is an illogical human diversion.”

“Suit yourself.” Reno said as he patted Astro’s shoulder. “If you need a cuddling partner for tonight? I brought my favorite big teddy bear just for you.”

Astro pushed Reno away. “How about you light the fire and do something useful?”

After they ate, the three boys climbed into their tents for the night. It didn’t take long for Astro to doze off, a few thoughts, some audible clicking and he was “off”…

He was “off” till Kennedy’s wild screaming caused Astro’s emergency system to activate and he was all but tearing his way out, kicking the pup tent off his foot. “What! What!?”

Ken was hysterical. “He pushed a sword into my neck! We…. I…… uh! ..... abbah ….. abbah!”

“He says a Samurai ripped his flap open and threatened to kill him unless he left.” Reno said as he handed the hyperventilating Ken a bag. “Breath into this.”

Astro took a quick look in Ken’s tent. “Don’t tell me you were reading this before bed Ken?” Astro said as he came out with the Samurai history book in his hands. “This explains it. You were having a night terror from reading this book and listening to those dopey horror stories. Now will you go and get some sleep? I’ll be right here to make sure you doze off, no one’s going to get you Ken.”

“I swear it was real!” Kennedy snorted. “Are you going to tell me a samurai sword at my throat was a fantasy! I thought you’d be more trusting of your friends Astro!” Kennedy roughly tossed his tent flap aside and vanished.

Reno looked at Astro and sighed. “You were a little harsh.”

“I didn’t mean it.” Astro replied. “But if all we’re going to do is jump and scream every time we hear a noise then we should go home and forget about having adventures.”

Reno patted Astro’s back. “ Relax pit bull.”

It wasn’t long before Astro had pulled his sleeping bag from his pup tent and curled up in the clearing. His “auto-sleep” program was one of five designated out of his touch. Sleep was a requirement, not only for the human-like behavior of the small robot but also as a safety factor against over-heating or over-use of the sensitive electronics inside Astro’s body. He could fight it but he was sooner or later destined to lose, which he did as he sighed and fell into a contented snooze…

The kick, when it struck, was more annoyance than anything. Whoever did it got only one shot as Astro’s auto-defense kicked into high gear and the boy bot snatched another flying kick! Astro sent the offender tumbling across the clearing then jumped up from the sleeping bag just in time to lean back and dodge a bright shiny object as it whooshed past his face. He leaned back up only to get a flash bang explosive ball in the face which sent him stumbling back into the hot embers of the camp fire!

Reno and Kennedy came scrambling out of their tents just in time to see Astro snorting and throwing his burnt pajama bottoms down on the dirt. “Those were my favorite pair!” He snarled.

Reno smelled the cordite in the air and walked up to check Astro. “What happened?”

“Somebody came into the camp and kicked me.” Astro said as he pushed back Reno’s examining hands. “I’m fine Reno!”

“No you’re not.” Reno replied. “Judging by the nice slice across your cheek, you ran into our fantom Samurai, Ninja or whatever that was.”

Astro felt his chin and sure enough his synthetic skin was torn. “This isn’t funny any more. You were right Ken…well….half right.”

“Did you see what he looked like?!” Ken said excited.

“No…I do know he had a long Samurai blade and whoever this is…he’s good at it.”

Ken crossed his arms. “You owe me an apology Astro! Now do you believe me?”

“I know ghosts can’t cut you with a real sword.” Astro replied. “This is the real thing. Someone doesn’t want us here or anyone else here for that fact.”

“Well they’re going to be sadly mistaken.” Reno said with his hands on his hips. “Astro’s right! Ghost or no ghost they don’t own the woods or whatever’s buried here, we have a right to know our country’s past! Forget being famous, these guys or ghouls are not going to tell us where we can or can’t go. Time to boot some butt!”

“Ok…you go out there Mister master demon slayer and kick their butt then!” Kennedy started pushing on Reno.

“Stop it! I need to get organized first! I need some sleep! I….”

Astro shook his head. “You two are a comedy act. I don’t think the creep will come back into camp for the rest of the night so let’s get some sleep.”

The Do nothing Days
part II

Morning…

Ken wobbled out of his pup tent wrapped with a blanket against the morning cold air and walked up to Reno, who was busy playing around the bottom of Astro’s feet with his multi-purpose laser tool.

“Ok…try it now.” Reno asked Astro. The robot boy walked in a circle and came back.

“No joy.” Astro said as he sat back on the tree stump.

“What are you doing?” Ken asked Reno sluggishly.

“I’m turning Astro into a walking metal detector. His feet will act like magnetic pads and pick up anything he walks over.”

Astro smirked. “Yeah! And I’ll make that annoying “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” noise when something comes up!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Reno snipped. “Try it again.”

Astro walked around and this time he waved. “It works!”

Ken scratched his head. “Well…we already know this thing is real, I mean last night wasn’t smoke and mirrors.”

“No way.” Astro said as he grabbed a back pack. “The question is who, why and how many are there.”

“Don’t forget the “what next?” Reno snorted. “I think we should head towards Kobogorei Mastiff through the saddle (saddle: dip between two high land points) bet we pick up a few things along the path.”

The three boys slowly made their way through the dense forest and growth as Astro stopped every few feet when a “click” or “beep” went off in his head. “Nope… not there… too small….”

“I bet we find plenty of UCC Coffee cans around here though.” Kennedy said.

Astro laughed. “I’ve detected an old World War II bomb…you wanna go back that way?”

Reno rubbed his chin. “We should at least flag it. I wouldn’t doubt you’d find something like that.”

Suddenly Astro stopped cold. Without saying a word he started to walk in bigger circles around Reno and Ken. “Wow! This spot’s pinging like church bells!”

Ken. “Treasure?”

“No….” Astro stopped. “they’re all spread out so it could be weapons or some sort of camp.”

Reno grabbed a shovel from his back pack. “Find a shallow one and I’ll dig on it.”

Astro giggled as he placed a hand on Reno’s head. “Oops! The ping stopped.”

Ken laughed as Reno chased Astro in circles. “ Good exercise you two! Maybe we’ll miss school at this…..rate?” Ken stopped as he heard a faint whistling sound somewhere in the woods around him. At first it was distant and benign but soon it became noisy and it was definably coming in his direction!

Astro snatched Reno by his arm and pulled Ken off his feet as he ran by. The three boys flew over a pile of fallen bamboo as the place they were just standing in exploded in a shower of flame, sparks, splinters and rocks.

Astro poked his head over the bamboo as another small salvo of rockets slammed home. “FIRE WORKS?! Well that does it. Some one’s idea of a joke has gone way over bonkers now!”

The robot boy flipped over the pile and flew into the air in time to see another salvo come flying from the forest a few yards away. “You know you should blow those things up when they’re in the air whoever you are!” Astro snarled as he fired a lazer finger shot and blew the cherry rockets apart.

“Don’t think the fast burning smoke trails going to stop me from finding you.” Astro turned his eyes over to infra red and had enough of the dissolving heat signatures from the rockets to find where their launching point was. He came down rocket-less with enough force to shatter the crude bamboo launching tubes to bits! “You better run!” Astro snapped as he looked at the remains of the launcher and picked out a small hand size gadget.

“An auto-launcher? So our Samurai Ghost plays with electronics and fireworks from China.” Astro looked around before returning to Reno and Kennedy.

“Nice. Radio controlled.” Reno said as he put his magnifying glass back in his pocket. “Definably not a grade school prankster.”

“But what have we done wrong to deserve this?” Ken pleaded. “We’re not harming anything! We haven’t taken anything!...”

Astro was leaning against a bamboo tree. “Someone’s protecting this place obviously. Could be spirit worship, reverence or any number of reasons humans find to place a value on something worth getting in trouble for.”

Astro’s eyes suddenly bugged as a sound entered his sensitive electronics. He placed his hands behind his back and finger played while he walked past Ken and Reno. “Who ever this is? I’d say he’s probably…..oh…..about 65 poundsverymouthyandgatchyah!” Astro suddenly jumped into rocket mode through a bush and came back out with a boy kicking and screaming in his arms dressed in a tiger stripped Ghee and one angry attitude!

“PUT ME DOWN! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE! I’LL TELL MY FATHER ON ALL OF YOU! YOU WON’T LEAVE THIS FOREST ALIVE YOU FILTHY VERMIN!”

Astro put the boy down but held him by the arms. “I think it’ll be you who’ll be in trouble if you don’t stop these crazy stunts…uh? You have a name right?”

The boy turned his head. “Mosaru Bandai you filthy poacher garbage!”

Ken scratched his head. “Nasty little kid isn’t he?”

“Who you calling little you crook! I am the son of a tenth generation Samurai warrior and protector of our village treasures and no outsider is going to have them unless it’s over my dead body!” Mosaru tried to stomp on Astro’s boots, a rather comical scene as Astro just stood dumbfounded and with a tilted head…

“Uh…you do realize I’m a robot? That really doesn’t help.” Astro said. Mosaru broke a hand free from Astro’s grip and tried the old fashioned eye poke…which caused more laughter. “He’s persistent.”

Reno shrugged. “He’s a great ninja warrior.”

“Samurai! I am a samurai!”

“Sheesh! Look Mosaru, we’re not here to steal anything. We’re from the Ministry of Science in Metro City, just a bunch of kids with nothing better to do. So what’s wrong with us looking into the history of this brawl from the Warring States Era?”

Astro just continued to stand dumbfounded while Mosaru stabbed his chest with a Samurai short blade. “Uh…you might have to pay for all the scratches you’re putting in me.”

Ken grabbed the boy’s arm and jerked the knife out of his hand. “Do you mind not using Astro as a pin cushion? These things are dangerous!”

“The treasures belong to our village and no filthy outsider is going to lay their hands on them!” Mosaru snarled. He was going to reach for another weapon when a taller figure dressed in a black Kendo Ghee walked out of the woods.


“That’s enough Mosaru, I think these boys get the message.” The long haired man stood with a hand on a Samurai sword hilt as Mosaru ran behind him.

“Father! The pointy haired boy’s a fake! He’s one of those walking toys you see in the city!”

Reno chuckled. “A walking toy….giggles….he takes 4 double A batteries.”

“Hey! You’re not helping me here.” Astro said as he walked up to the man. “You’re the Samurai aren’t you? The one who cut my chin?”

“Forgive.” The man replied. “An unfortunate circumstance necessary to protect what is rightfully ours…and theirs.” The man pointed behind him. “Archeology or not, no one has the right to desecrate the resting place of our ancestors. A great battle was fought here to determine the very future of our country, that alone makes its disturbance off limits.”

Reno walked up. “I think the country has a right to know more about what happened here. Are you just going to let important artifacts rot when some of them should be saved so the people…”

The Samurai’s face turned upset. “We tried that before. The government came under the same excuse, they pillaged some of the treasures in the 1930’s…not to put them in museums but to melt them down, extract the gold and use it to finance an insane war across Asia. From then on our village swore never again. No one….not you, not the government, no one will ever be allowed on this land less it be the cost of their heads.”

Astro tried to plead. “But so much has changed since then! Japan has matured, we’ve been peaceful and prosperous can’t you…”

The man drew his sword. “I am Watanabe Bandai, 10th Generation Samurai. Now I order you to leave…You may be strong robot but even you can’t resist the powerful sword craft of our fathers. If you and your two friends don’t want to occupy a head pike at the gates of our village then I suggest you get out…..NOW!”

Ken needed no encouragement, he was off like a rocket down the dirt path with Reno right behind him. Astro just stood and frowned…”You’re so wrong. Ignorance isn’t in short supply these days.”

It took a while before Astro could find Reno and Ken. Both had thrown their camp into their tents and dragged them out of the forest and into a nearby clearing. “You two ok?” Astro asked as he sat on the grass.

Ken sighed. “No! That guy was going to put our heads on pikes, what a stupid question to ask Astro!”

Reno smiled despite it all. “Well…it was a short adventure wasn’t it?”

Astro looked back at the mountain behind them. “You can’t argue with passion. Perhaps it’s for the best anyway.”

“So what do we do now? We have a whole day of nothing, we’re sitting here with all our stuff packed in a mess.” Ken snorted.

“There’s always Nintendo.” Reno said shrugging.

EVENING
Reno’s Office at the Ministry of Science

Astro sat chewing a pizza slice while he watched Reno tinker with an electronics box on his desk. Every now and then he’d poke him in the head just to annoy him. “Quit it Astro! Shoot, you want me to blow this box up?”

“I thought we were going to do something to kill the boredom?” Astro said as he played with a wire. “Let’s go to the movies or a baseball game or something other than sitting here with you and a dumb box.”

“I’ll have you know that this “dumb box” is very important!” Reno snorted. “Why don’t you go home? It’s 8 o’clock, the Doc is so going to cream you for staying up late anyway.”

COOL FIC. ^^

It get's better.

The Do Nothing Days
Part III

“I could sleep here.” Astro said. Suddenly his eyes bulged out. “Someone’s screaming down at the front door.”

Reno ran to his window and pulled it open. Looking down he could see a boy waving a sword around his head and shouting at the two door security guards. “I DEMAND TO SEE HIM NOW! IT’S URGENT!! DON’T TRY TO STOP ME!”

“Hey…That’s Mosaru!” Astro said as he flipped over the window sill and dropped to the ground. “It’s ok! I know this kid.” Astro grabbed Mosaru by the hand and dragged him away from the guards. “Are you crazy! Those guards could have shot you!”

Mosaru was wet with sweat and a dry cough told Astro he’d been pounding pavement without drinking water. “You’re gonna pass out, let’s get you some water.”

Mosaru told his story between gulping glasses of water…”They took our village by surprise, everyone was put to sleep. They dragged my father from the house and said if he refused to help them find the real treasure that they’d poison everyone.”

Astro frowned. “Skunk…that filthy greed fed rat.”

“It’s been 2-hours now.” Reno said looking at his watch. “If they haven’t left with the treasure by now they’ll be real close.”

Astro paced the floor. “Hmmm….you know what? If the ghost stories and a few people can scare a couple of kids? How about a few stupid crooks?”

Reno snorted. “We haven’t got time for pulling Halloween stunts!”

Astro snickered. “I still have that Inuyasha costume you wore last Halloween though…and that pair of specially modified legs the Doctor built.”

“The one’s that make you taller?” Reno said as he grabbed a cell phone. “Hopefully Ken still has that stash of fire works.”

Astro smiled at Mosaru. “I hope you have some extra stuff we can use.”

“I wonder who should be more worried…me for our village or for the crooks?”

It didn’t take long for Reno to snap the modified legs to Astro’s lower body while Mosaru pulled the box full of costumes from Reno’s closet and passed the baggy red Ghee and long silver white wig to Astro.

Ken came walking into the lab just as Astro finished combing out the tangles and gluing a set of plastic claws to his hands….”Well…” He tried to say in a deeper voice. “Do I look “bad ass” or what?”

Reno and Mosaru laughed. “You sound like you’re going to a kindergarten party!”

“WHAT!” Astro snapped back in Inuyasha’s voice. “HOW DARE YOU, YOU STUPID MORTAL! WHERE’S MY TETSUGA? I’LL SHOW YOU KNIDERGARTEN ALL RIGHT! KAGOME!!”

Ken smiled. “Now that totally rules!”

Reno went back to his closet and dragged the bulky Tetsuga prop behind him. “Here you go Astro-yasha.”

“Is that real?” Mosaru asked.

“Nope. Just a carved piece of polished Aluminum. Only Astro can throw that thing around his head. I bet it’ll scare those idiots to death.”

“I was able to get the captain running again!” Tamao yelped as he came through the door of the lab. Astro suddenly leaped from the table, Tetsuga in hand, and dropped before Tamao almost causing him to pass out.

“DON’T DO THAT!....On second thought…do we have time to pay a visit to Abercrombie?” Tamao smiled evilly at Astro.

“No…we don’t my subservient human todie.” Astro said in Inuyasha’s voice. “I swear mortals are so stupid these days.”

The Captain above Ayo

The boys pedaling felt much easier this time around as the skybike Captain floating over the darkened town and came to a soft sliding landing in a grass clearing. Astro squatted with the huge Tetsuga prop across his back as Reno quickly sketched out maps. “I think we’d better save the village first. If Skunk intends to kill them all, we’ll be too slow to stop him.”

Astro huffed. “I wouldn’t worry about the village. Skunk’s a coward.”

Mosaru gestured. “He said he will do it!”

“That creep will say anything. Skunk’s no killer, like the old proverb says…”He who packs a gun in hand gets 30 years to life in the can. Skunk is all smoke and no fire. But your Dad? No doubt he’ll have his stupid toads beat him near death or worse if he’s stalling them.”

“So we clear the woods first?” Tamao said.

“Can you, Ken and Mosaru keep up with the Captain? I’ll bet we’ll be jumping all over the mountain once the fun starts.” Reno snorted as he sat strapping smoke and flash bombs to a bandoleer strap.

“No sweat!” Ken said with a thumbs up.

Astro stood up, threw the Tetsuga around his head and slapped it hard against a shoulder. “Ok then my human companions of the Shekon Chaos Patrol…it’s demon clobbering time.”

All the boys yelled Banzai and separated with Astro throwing Reno on his back and running full bore across the clearing and into the woods.

Part IV

Skunk hovered over Mosaru’s father and gave him a vicious slap across the face. “Old man I’m getting the sudden feeling that you’re toying around with me. Tell me you’re not so I don’t have to start sending a few of your friends back there to the gates of eternal bliss?”

“You must be patient!” Watanabe pleaded. “It’s been 500 years, the exact location of the treasure hasn’t been known I swear it!”

Skunk smiled. “No problem. It won’t take me much longer to figure that out. The question is…did you lie to me about the place we’re looking for? All I know, you’re leading us into a bushwhack. And for you? That will be a bad thing won’t it?”

Meanwhile, two of Skunk’s flunkies were hard at work with metal detectors and pick axes tearing up the hillside of Ayo-Yama. The shorter of the two pulled up a rusted piece of armor and threw it aside. “You think da boss is sure about where we’re at?”

“When has he ever been wrong?” The bigger man said as he pulled up an old Samurai warrior’s battle helm. “With all the junk we’re finding around here? We gotta be close to it.”

In a patch of bushes some distance back, Astro was trying to keep himself from giggling too loud while Reno pulled a flash grenade from his strap. “Shhhhhh…you’re going to blow your academy award debut!”

Astro gripped the Tetsuga hilt tight enough that his fingers crackled. “Throw it.”

The flunkies got a face full of white spots as the flash bang exploded brilliantly before them! “Damn!” the short flunkie screamed as he shook his head and pulled a gun. “I thought we took care of those stupid villagers?”

“I can’t see nothing!” the taller flunkie complained. “We’d better go tell the boss!”

As the two men turned around however…they came face to face with a white haired figure standing on a tree stump. His eyes glowed bright red as he ran a hand full of claws across a massive sword by his side, the men jumped and shivered from the screech.

“Well….well….” Astro said in Inyasha’s voice. ‘What do we have here? A couple of mortal idiots trying to desecrate a sacred burial ground?”

The short flunkie snarled out. “Who the hell are you!” And fired his pistol, only to see the bullet get caught in a fast moving hand.

“I’m not going to play all day with you two. Who am I? Just think of me as that bad piece of fish you decided to eat tonight. It’s going to cost you dearly!”

“Wind Scar!!” Astro swung the Tetsuga prop over his head and smacked it down on the ground just as another flash bag went off. Raising his arm cannon in a quick draw, Astro fired a surge bolt of energy past the two flunkies, who were sucked into and carried by the surge pressure wave created by the intense blast.

Skunk heard the distance noise and scowled deeply. “I hope them knuckleheads didn’t pull out the explosives!”

“Perhaps they ran into the spirits? Will serve you right to surrender now, your doom is sealed.”

“SLAP!” “Shut it Samurai before I get angry enough to blow your guts all over the side of this hill.”

The flunkies were huddling together terrified as the apparent ghost came walking through a cloud of smoke. “What’s the matter? Didn’t think this place would be haunted? Well I think my claws can convince you enough that you’re floating the wrong way up a one way river!”

Astro jumped and the two men took off like rockets, vanishing through the bamboo forest with loud crashing sounds as they ran head first into bamboo trees or rolled head over heals from tripping themselves up. Astro turned around to see Reno rolling on the ground, grabbing his stomach and laughing non-stop.

“ONE WAY RIVER!!! LOL!!! WHAT A RIOT!!! LOL!!! BOOOO…..LOL!!!”

“Ok giggle factory, we have to move and stop those guys before they get to Skunk! I’m not done having fun yet.” Astro threw Reno on his back and off they went. “Tamao?! You see those two goons?”

The Captain circled above. “Yeah! They stopped a few yards ahead of you and boy are they screaming!”

Reno talked into his wrist radio. “How about a little air show Tamao? Drop a few flash bangs on their heads!”

The Captain raced overhead as Timao dumped five flash grenades into the woods. The explosions sent the flunkies running again and seeing spots. When the short one stopped to catch his breath, he found his taller companion was gone.

“Hey! Hey this ain’t funny! Where are you’s you knucklehead!”

The tall flunkie was a few yards away shivering like a tree and tied like a hog. Astro bent over him licking his hands. “Oh you are going to be the first mortal I stick with a cooking stick. “pat pat….” It’ll all be over soon, heck I might even get leftovers to carry into hell. Bye bye bafoon.”

Astro giggled as he vanished out of site and joined Reno. “He’s going to have to change his pants after that.”

“You are so mean!” Reno said smirking. “You don’t mean any of it right?”

Astro stopped. “I don’t? I have to stay in perfect character you know. By now his buddy is running back to Skunk leaving a trail of….you know.”

Tamao came over the radio. “How about you two stop celebrating and catch up with the guy! He’s almost there!”

“We need him to set the tone!” Astro said back. “After all…this is my Oscar performance.”

Reno jumped on a log. “The verbal perfume is getting deep. He went that waaaaaaa!!!” Astro caught Reno on the run and off they went bouncing from rock to rock…tree to tree.

"The flunkies were huddling together terrified as the apparent ghost came walking through a cloud of smoke."

Seems to me I have seen something like this before: Fistful of Dollars had CE do something like this. I am unsure about Yojimbo having Toshiro Mifune do it, though. I cannot recall if Last Man Standing had Bruce Willis do it, but it would be consisent with the other scenes & in fact, the entire plot borrowed from Fistful.

I didn't take it from any movie or show, just an act of coincidence.

Reno jumped on a log. “The verbal perfume is getting deep. He went that waaaaaaa!!!” Astro caught Reno on the run and off they went bouncing from rock to rock…tree to tree. “Can you stop acting like Inuyaaaaaashaaaaa! We’re gonna crash!”

“You doubt my robotic abilities?”

“I don’t doubt that you’re crazy!”

Skunk’s short flunkie came crashing through a bush and scrambled on his hands and knees behind his boss. “What the heck are you doing stupid! I told you to go find the treasure!”

The flunkie cowered in a ball. “It’s…..it’s an evil spirit boss! It ate Gonk! It’s gonna kill us all!”

The Samurai smiled. “Well…now you’ve angered the spirits? Oh bad tides to you, surrender is your only hope.”

“SHUT UP!” Skunk snarled. “It’s one of your stupid tricks!”


Skunk suddenly felt himself lifted up and tossed aside like a rag doll into a tree. His flunkie was lifted off his feet and shook like a wind blown flag as the demon pulled him close to his face. “Mmmmm…a nice tooth pick for my after dinner delight. “Shink!”

The flunkie escaped and left so quick that Astro was left looking at his shirt and undershirt. “YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH….HELP!!HELP ME!”

A net suddenly shot from below his feet and took the flunkie into the air between a set of bent up bamboo. Tamao came walking from the bush he’d been hiding in and poked at the flunkie with a stick. “Hey Mosaru? Want to hit the pinyata?”

Skunk meanwhile had woke up to watch a large sword chop the bamboo tree in half behind him and the red suited demon picking at his teeth with a set of claws. “Your friends were so delicious…You on the other hand might taste rough…but why waste good meat huh?”

Skunk grabbed his gun off the ground but had it knocked away by the angry demon. “Oh don’t think you can grab your stupid useless mortal weapons to stop me!” Astro snatched Skunk by the coat and pushed him off his feet…”Bye bye fool…it’s been fun.”

“What?” Skunk said as the voice of the demon suddenly changed. He grabbed at the white hair and ripped it off. “You!”

Astro smiled. “Surprise! “Giggles” Kinda funny wasn’t it Skunk?”

Skunk saw the other kids coming out of the woods and started laughing on his own. “Boy that was cool! You had my boys scared out of their shoes! I know it all the time! You’re so creative Astro! Now…how about we forget this ever happened huh? Just a big fat joke between old buddies huh?”

Astro looked back at his friends and winked. “What was it last time Skunk? I forgot.”

“NO! NO! STOP IT! I HAVE RIGHTS! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!” Skunk screamed as Astro dragged him away and down a dirt path.

Metro City Police Station

Inspector Towashi shook his head over and over again. “First it was a big nerf ball, then chicken feathers and syrup, then a giant wad of silly puddy now?....”

“What?” Astro said smirking. “Something wrong with a giant Toosie pop?”

“I’m not licking that to get him out of it.” Towashi said as a group of police carried poor Skunk, encased in a big tootsie pop, into the station.


Mosaru and the others stood by the captain as Astro walked back. “Do you think Skunk will ever get the hint?”

“Nah.” Tamao replied. “Next time you should try a big rice ball or something more humiliating.”

Mosaru walked up with a sword and handed it to Astro. “Our village has decided you were right in one way. We should at least give something to share with our people. This is the sword Daiymo Nakadoshi gave to Lord Tokugawa with his dying breath. He took it into battle and rallied the people to a great victory. They call it the unification sword.”

Astro nodded. “We’ll take good care of it.”

The end.

Good story. Now make one for the upcoming turkey day celebration.