help, please!

[astro_mcfly]

Okay. I'm going to have to do that later, though.

[astro_mcfly]

Okay... I think I may have this one...

Michi seemed like an ordinary child in the year 1951... To herself that is. To everybody else, she was a little girl who looked like a boy with weird hair who wears a dress. It wasn't untill the day of November 5 that she ever went as far as to question herself. A run in with Aisuru Kagaku and her scientist father, Dr.Kagaku, had brought back memories of times long forgotten. After hearing the terrifying story of the death of his young daughter in 1949, in his home, she found two pictures of her, but notices one is dated two months after her incident. Aisuru herself, had also been facing a few problems. She wondered, "Michi... She reminds me of... My sister."

I still don't think that's a very good summary. Sorry if that doesn't help. If it does, just private message me, and I'll send you the first chapter.

[jeffbert]

Originally posted by astro_mcfly@Jan 19 2005, 08:51 PM
Okay... I think I may have this one...

Michi seemed like an ordinary child in the year 1951... To herself that is. To everybody else, she was a little girl who looked like a boy with weird hair who wears a dress. It wasn't untill the day of November 5 that she ever went as far as to question herself. A run in with Aisuru Kagaku and her scientist father, Dr.Kagaku, had brought back memories of times long forgotten. After hearing the terrifying story of the death of his young daughter in 1949, in his home, she found two pictures of her, but notices one is dated two months after her incident. Aisuru herself, had also been facing a few problems. She wondered, "Michi... She reminds me of... My sister."

I still don't think that's a very good summary. Sorry if that doesn't help. If it does, just private message me, and I'll send you the first chapter.

Interesting. I think you have the basis for a decent story. However, let me qualify that by stating that I have only had two literature courses. Let me see if I can give you a few examples of a synopsis.

First, you should check a few pages that give synopses of various things. If you have read any of the manga, read some of these [[url]http://en-f.tezuka.co.jp/manga/sakuhin/subtitle/m025.html]Atomu[/url] manga synopses[/url] to get a feel for what one ought to be like. Here are some synopses of the 60s series. Notice that they are very short, lacking any details.

If I were to put what you have written in that form, I would very likely eliminate all references to specific places and things:

Michi was a happy child, living carefree as most children do, until one day she had an experience that caused her to doubt whether she really was a child.

Then, I might add a few more items, but nothing too specific.

[astro_mcfly]

I (guess) that I know what you mean, and it certainly helps. That's so funny that you wrote what I have thought, and you haven't even read the story. If you would like, I could send you some of it. It's so nice how you like to reply to my topic. B) Actually, it's kinda cool. I think that I should start working on what my avatar image will be. I was going to illustrate it myself, but my friend called. Anyways... Just post back here.

[jeffbert]

Are you making it up as you go, or have you made an outline?

[astro_mcfly]

My story or my avatar? Oh... My story. I've been working on that since September, and I first thought of the idea when I was leaving my Grandma's house. That was the idea I used for maybe, the first three pages. The rest of it was some sort of freaky dream, where I was the main character, Michi. Overall, I do think it's layed out somehow, but I add little things that I wouldn't have before, like a particular part when she finds herself in Dr.Kakaku's basement, and she gets really upset. Or a part I posted here, when Aisuru came to check on Michi at her appartment. It's already posted here, but I'll post it again. I know this is my story, but I still have to explain to myself how Aisuru knows that Michi couldn't cry.

“Michi’s eyes didn’t have a color to them, or did they?” they thought. They were sometimes black, sometimes amber brown. Her eyes glittered abnormally under the light. As she had known all along, there was a secret about Michi that Michi herself did not even know to be true.
Michi began to show her insecurity. Her emotions took over from there. “What is wrong with me?” She asked. “Why are you looking at me that way? Please, I don’t want you to cry. If you do, I...” “You can’t cry though, Michi.” Aisuru said to her. Michi knew that was true and replied back, “I can’t cry, but I do have feelings.”

My avatar= Astro in an outfit like Marty McFly's . Maybe a skateboard? Not sure...

[super_kim]

Its amazing that you've written 65 pages. I have great respect for anyone who can get that much down on paper. I'm not to good at writing anything over a short story, I just don't have the concentration. Do you know how many words it is?

Oh, and this is beside the point but I found out today that New York is actually a state. I always thought it was just a city, like Brisbane city in the state of Queensland. You learn something new everyday.

[fafner]

Originally posted by super_kim@Jan 26 2005, 01:07 PM
Oh, and this is beside the point but I found out today that New York is actually a state. I always thought it was just a city, like Brisbane city in the state of Queensland. You learn something new everyday.

Many years ago I thought the same for Washington

[astro_mcfly]

Okay, I'll try to find out how many words it is in length. I am going to have to send it to myself on my other computer. Off topic: I love going to New York City. As long as we don't have to drive through Pennsylvania in the winter. We got caught in traffic for three (Or four.) whole hours! :wacko: at least that's better than compleatly forgeting the state of West Virginia!

[super_kim]

I'd love to go to New York City. But I haven't even travelled the country I'm in so I think New York can wait a while. And besides it would cost a fortune in airfares and accomodation.

I think I've been watching to much astroboy. My little brother has a robosapien, and when you bump into it it says ouch. I accidently hit it as I was standing up yesterday and I automatically apologised. Everybody laughed at me, but u know u hurt something, u apologise. lol.

I just need the word count to get a basic idea of length, because pages could be in any font or font size, the average novel is about 60-70 thousand words. Most publishers refuse to publish anything around 30-40 thousand. And I'm not speaking from experience, I've never had anything trade published, my Mum's an internationally published author. So I get all my info from her.