How Should I Deal With This Friend?

[Earthshine]

I had a 'talk' with her a few days ago and things went better than I anticipated. Usually, like I said, when a person says anything that can be construed as negative about her she'll black list that person and ignore them for months until she realizes that they are right or she just misses them. This time she actually listened. I told her how unacceptable it was to be chronically late and absent, and how she could not 'use' people for their resources for her own gain, and it was because of her ACTIONS, not her diagnoses that caused so many of our mutual friends to leave her.

She still is trying to blame EVERYTHING on her schizo-effective disorder, but admits that she needs to try harder to 'combat' her 'urges' to misbehave. Her words, not mine. I told her that she just needed to CARE more about how she is perceived by others when it comes to her personality and not her looks.

She said that she is working with her therapist on dealing with certain things; her delusions and behavior. But what has me worried is that there has been little improvement since she has been seeing this professional.

I hope that she took my talking to her to heart and is going to work a little harder on being a better friend despite her condition. I did warn her however that if she EVER tries to manipulate or use me for anything else in the future then my friendship is revoked. She's already lost almost all her friends, so I think everything has sunk in that she can and will be alone if she doesn't try to stop being a bad person.

[Crazy_Red]

I had a 'talk' with her a few days ago and things went better than I anticipated. Usually, like I said, when a person says anything that can be construed as negative about her she'll black list that person and ignore them for months until she realizes that they are right or she just misses them. This time she actually listened. I told her how unacceptable it was to be chronically late and absent, and how she could not 'use' people for their resources for her own gain, and it was because of her ACTIONS, not her diagnoses that caused so many of our mutual friends to leave her.

She still is trying to blame EVERYTHING on her schizo-effective disorder, but admits that she needs to try harder to 'combat' her 'urges' to misbehave. Her words, not mine. I told her that she just needed to CARE more about how she is perceived by others when it comes to her personality and not her looks.

She said that she is working with her therapist on dealing with certain things; her delusions and behavior. But what has me worried is that there has been little improvement since she has been seeing this professional.

I hope that she took my talking to her to heart and is going to work a little harder on being a better friend despite her condition. I did warn her however that if she EVER tries to manipulate or use me for anything else in the future then my friendship is revoked. She's already lost almost all her friends, so I think everything has sunk in that she can and will be alone if she doesn't try to stop being a bad person.

I’m happy that you told her how you felt about her behaviour and that you made her aware that there are consequences for manipulative behaviour (I’m glad that she listened too). Don’t be afraid to act upon it if she does cross the line. Hopefully, she does take what you said to heart and tries her best to improve herself and also learns to cope with her condition in ways that are not harmful to herself and the people around her.

Sorry for the late response. I hope everything goes well.

[Earthshine]

Well things are going better than they were, mostly because she hasn't tried to talk to me for a while. I think she's just trying to work things out on her own and with her therapist which I think is good. I'd be a shame if our lives parted because we have been friends for so long, but even I admit that it serves no one any good to hold onto a toxic friendship that tasks one.

Thank you!

[Astro Forever]

I wasn't able to reply back when you first posted the topic, but I really think you have a healthy perspective on the situation.