I literally hate my brother

[Dr. Jerk]

I feel like I have the worse little brother in the history of man. And I hate him a great whole deal, and nothing in this world will ever change my mind. Allow me to explain.

My brother is a 7-year old with autism. Don't know what that is? Look it up because I don't have the time to explain it. However I will say that no two kids with autism are the same, as autism can vary between child to child, and my brother in particular has an extreme case of it. Sometimes I wonder if 'extreme' is even the right word to describe what he's like.

For as long as I can remember, my brother has had a tendency of disliking me. And whenever I did something to irritate or anger him, he would usually repay it by going up to me and kicking me in the shin or smacking my back or arm, sometimes screaming depending on how angry he is. And for a time me and my family just viewed it as another one of those sibling rivalry things, escalated by his autism. So my parents tries to tell him to stop, but he won't listen.

However, as time passed, it just grew and worsened. His little 'attacks' on me had became harder, like the time he punched my arm and it hurt for around two hours or so. He openly says "I hate you", not just to me, but to my parents who never really did anything to deserve that.

He has zero compassion for anyone, and the only person he cares about the most is himself. I remember the time when my family got in an argument with one of the neighbors, and my brother said in the most happiest voice "That woman hates mom, and I hate mom too."

Did it end there? No, it just kept growing over the years. There was a time when he was enrolled in a school for autistic kids. I'm not entirely sure if what they did had helped him, but they at least certainly knew what they would be dealing with and how to manage it. Unfortunately he couldn't be kept there forever and went into a 'normal' school, and we like, tried to warn them that he is prone to 'acting up' in a violent ways. But they completely ignored us then, saying "Oh he'll be fine, don't worry."

And oh indeed, did he act up. The school is supposed to be one of those Catholic schools, but lately my brother has been saying stuff like "I hate Jesus", and had once even snuck into a classroom and wrote it on a white board. But other than that, he was for a time, non-violent. He would often talk about this one kid at school, about being friends with him. But I sometimes have to wonder if this kid might be bullying my brother without him realizing it, or otherwise being a bad influence on him. Even then I wonder if my brother would still get worse even without that kid.

Fast-forward to around last month or so, what happens? My brother got real temperamental and had started to beat up some of the students, punching them, pushing them into lockers... Real "I told you so" moment there. <_<

He wasn't suspended or expelled or anything. We were however given the suggestion to take him into mental rehab at my city's children's hospital, which my mother didn't exactly wanted to because our family has had very bad history with that hospital before. Basically I was put there because of my depression, and the staff were constantly out to get my family because they wanted me in for MONEYZ!!1!, and ultimately a social worker was called on us, and it was taken to court and crap. Yeah, that place made me feel worse.

So my parents tried to find alternatives, which there weren't really any of. My mom took him to the family doctor yesterday, and we were suggested that he be put on medication. We haven't decided on that yet, but I have to wonder if the dumb stuff would work on him anyway. After all, my 'anti-depressants' from last year did absolutely nothing for me.

Guess what happened today. My brother didn't wanted to participate in class, tried to run and hide, a teacher found him, and my brother had started to beat her up, just for going to get him. His violent out-bursts didn't end there, as he started to rant on about how much he hates everyone, his 'wish' to grow up to be a criminal and rob people's houses and kill them,

And the tip of the iceberg, his 'fantasy' that he wants to kill me and cannibalize my body. Well that's kinda new, since he has ALWAYS ranted on about killing me and kicking my tombstone over, and about my mom too.

So now he's being taken to the children's hospital right now as I type this. And given our 'lovely' history there, I feel that another court session might be coming soon.

So, there's his history for ya. And I try to ignore him, especially since he tries to run from me if I glare back at him and take a step forward after throwing something at me. But then I have to wonder what he might be more capable, and be braver of, doing when he is older.

I mean, I feel like I have to take self-defense courses.

But it isn't just me that I worry about, but my parents as well, especially my mother. I woke up to her crying about this, saying that she feels like a mother of a soon-to-be-serial killer, and feels like she is blamed for everything. And with the way he is now, I seriously do wonder if he would grow up to be such a thing.

We have asked ourselves, "What the hell do we do, and what the hell have we done to deserve this?" We have loved him and cared for him gently and greatly, and yet he still turns out to be this violent little bastard.

...So that's it. Rant over and stuff, I had to get this off of me.

And that's why I hate him, and wish that he had never been born.

[Novacain]

I'm sorry you are going through all this, I would like to say things will get better but I don't know your situation personally. Stay positive, and you know what, kick boxing or other self defense/ martial art courses are a great pass time that can help lighten depression as well ( this I do know personally).

[Black Rabbit]

Oh dear... I'm terribly sorry about this. I never know autism could be this bad. And your brother is only seven? What could have made him think of killing... I wonder how you brother is feeling... Does he feel insecure about something? Maybe that is why he says he loathes everyone. Only time will tell what the future holds. Just stay try to stay positive about this. Maybe you should do something you enjoy to do, to keep your mind of the problem. =( I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[Dr. Jerk]

No, my brother is for the most part happy and feels secure about things.

I think he just hates everyone because he wants to.

[Bakabits]

ahh autism.... i have 3 cousins with autism and i used to feel the same way you do now. First consider the main fact: He is your brother. There is no going around it. Like you said, no kid with autism is alike SOOOOOO take that to your advantage. I now spend my time over my cousins house reading to them or playing wii with them. i can only speak for myself but instead of hating him just keep TRYING to help him. Also........did you ever hear of bipolar? thats what i have. so my cousins and i did not mix till later. So turn that and into a and have a piece of always ready for your brother's sake. Again, i can only speak for myself

[Dr. Jerk]

Your cousins don't threaten to kill everyone on sight.

Like I said, there is nothing in this world that will change my views on my brother.

[F-Man]

I think there's no question about it that he should go to hospital or at least try some medication. He's acting dangerous. However always remember that he may not really mean any harm to people in his family. I've had lots of problems with my brother when he was younger (today he's into stealing and drugs so we just ignore each other), where he would be very violent, but I don't think he really wanted to do the hurtful things he did. Some of them he did only cause he knew I would get out okay.

[Dr. Jerk]

I think there's no question about it that he should go to hospital or at least try some medication. He's acting dangerous. However always remember that he may not really mean any harm to people in his family. I've had lots of problems with my brother when he was younger (today he's into stealing and drugs so we just ignore each other), where he would be very violent, but I don't think he really wanted to do the hurtful things he did. Some of them he did only cause he knew I would get out okay.

I would think there should be concern if he beated up some kids and a teacher.

He beated up the teacher pretty badly actually. For a kid of seven years of age, he's pretty strong.

[Astronomical girl]

Jerk,
there's nothing wrong with him other than he's 7 and the verbal and physical outbursts is normal behavior,a 7 year old doesn't have full understanding of many things and of course you would feel at odds with him becuase you are 18 and he is 7(it's like me and my 10yrd brother we are like gas and matches) He doesn't need fancy schools he needs guidiance and a firm hand and also ask yourself,how much attention is he getting?younger children when not given attention will do things like his outbursts,he does it for attention,I understand how it is to have younger siblings,I have two of them. If you have anymore questions or advice just ask

[Dr. Jerk]

Jerk,
there's nothing wrong with him other than he's 7 and the verbal and physical outbursts is normal behavior,a 7 year old doesn't have full understanding of many things and of course you would feel at odds with him becuase you are 18 and he is 7(it's like me and my 10yrd brother we are like gas and matches) He doesn't need fancy schools he needs guidiance and a firm hand and also ask yourself,how much attention is he getting?younger children when not given attention will do things like his outbursts,he does it for attention,I understand how it is to have younger siblings,I have two of them. If you have anymore questions or advice just ask

No. You don't have a single understanding of what autism is.

My brother is different from most seven year olds because he is a seven year old with autism. Even then, I have seen other seven year olds with autism who are a lot nicer and not violent like he is, which goes to show that autism is different for everyone who has it. My brother is a very different case.