AstroBoy Online Forums

we had issues awhile back (one of them being unrequited love) then later we tried to be friends, hungout and stuff then we started to get into fights, I apologize for my part in them and vice versa but we continue to have fights to the point where we are scared of each other. I feel horrible and guilty (and seeing a shrink and other therapy cause I had thoughts of... and had some other friendships that had problems too and childhood stuff)

I pray that we would be able with time to stop being scared of each other and start hanging out again! I hope it's not over forever!

First of all, welcome back, haven't heard from you here in a while, but I wish it were under better circumstances! Please don't do anything rash! Glad you are seeking help. I hope you sort things out and feel much better soon. Maybe you need a reliable third party to help you and your friend patch things up.

thank you Tetsuwan Penguin,
I am seeking help

I have been busy with college and some life stuff.

It sounds like you are being responsible and are taking the necessary first steps in making sure that your life won't be completely out of control emotionally.

If I were you I would try to pinpoint what is causing the both of you to fight so much and if it's because of certain discussions or topics then to avoid those as much as possible. But I'm no professional, you can definitely talk to your therapist though and see what they think.

Communication is often one of the best ways to remedy friendships; be honest with them about how you are feeling, don't point fingers, avoid trying to 'change' them as only they can do that, be empathetic and always try to be friendly.

I had a difficult time with one of my friends earlier in the year that was being all sorts of unpleasant; she had been diagnosed with schizo-effective disorder and as such much of her issues could be blamed on that but there were other things that just had no excuse. I had to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her on how her inexcusable actions were driving me and her other friends away and the only way that she could keep her friends (and her husband) was to NOT do the things in which she was doing and it was not due to her diagnoses that she was being pushed away in the first place.

After our talk and after she had several sessions with her own therapist our relationship began to improve. She still says some things that are very insensitive, but overall she's had a major improvement.