OK guys here's a short preview of what I've written for chapter 2 so far. So no I'm not done it will be on FF.net in a few days when I finish it and edit it. There's a little bit of swearing but I only put it in there at appropriate times, but I'll replace the words with *'s.
Date: February 17, 2085
“What the f**k?” was the exact words that came out of my mouth. Was I dead, did I die? Did I survive? Did I just wake up from a comma? Just, what the f**k? Only words that describe my situation. I got up and pinched myself and didn't wake up so I wasn't dreaming. You know that old saying? The best way to tell if you're dreaming is to pinch yourself and you wake up, thought I'd try that.
But what about the night before? I knew for a fact that last night wasn't a dream, was I going insane? I immediately got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom in my room and looked in the mirror. Nothing, there were no cuts, bruises, or scars. Just nothing. Well never mind, I take that back, there was something.
On the back of my arms, on my back and on the back of my legs there was long line, scar tattoo looking thing. I didn't know what it was. Oh yea, how could I forget when I woke up the only thing I was wearing was a black speedo with a green band at the top of it. Again, what the f**k?
So I immediately put on some actual clothes I just put on a white T-shirt and some jeans and I walked downstairs looking for dad. He had to have known what was going on, even if he would be mad that I wrecked his car; but I needed answers. I found him in the dinning room with food on the table, almost like he was waiting for me.
“So, you're awake. I was starting to think you might never wake up.” He said when I came down. “It's good see that you're on your feet again son.” Something was off he was acting strange like all of a sudden I had his full attention. In a way it felt like he was testing me. This whole conversation with him was just weird and felt uncomfortable.
“Dad, what the hell happened?” I immediately asked. “I almost lost you that's what happened Toby. After what happened with your mother I couldn't bear to loose you too and you're lucky that survived that crash.” He answered. I didn't know what to say. For the past few years I thought he never really cared. Mom felt the same way. Does he care now? That I almost died now, all of a sudden he cares?
“Look Toby, after the accident. Doctors used some robotic parts and cybernetic implants to heal some of the wounds; but you were in a comma for three months.” He then went on to say. “Wha- what?” I stuttered. I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. “Look listen I didn't want to loose you too and I want to be a better father. I quit my job at the ministry.” Dad said.
“You did what?!” I yelled at him. “Why?!” I couldn't believe it. His job meant more than anything to him. It just doesn't seem like something he would do. Why he just throw one of the best, well paying jobs away? But then he answered “That's not my job anymore Toby, my job now is to be your father.”
This must have really gotten to him. “Dad? What are you talking about? How your going to get money, pay the bills and put food on the table?” It just made absolutely no sense.
“Look I have some experience as a teacher, I can pull a few strings and I'm going to home school you from now on. Don't worry about money I'll take care of it.” This kept getting better and better. “Dad, I liked my school. I had plenty of friends okay? Please tell me why you think you need to home school me.” This conversation was starting more uncomfortable every time he spoke. “Look I want to spend more time with you I thought that's what you wanted son.” Where the hell did he get this idea that I wanted him to home school me? Or that I wanted him to throw away his job?
“No, no. I wanted you to focus on what was happening with me and what was going on at home. I didn't want you to quit your job and I didn't want to be cut off from society!” I yelled again. I couldn't believe what what was happening. It was all so sudden, all happening so fast, and the whole situation was changing so rapidly. “I'm sorry son; but it's a Saturday and I'll start home-schooling you on Monday ,okay. I can't get you back into Metro High I'm sorry.” Dad said to me almost saddened, as if he did something wrong.
“You could have at least asked me.” I said. “How could I Toby, you were in a coma.” He said. “I don't want you seeing your friends anymore.” All this did was piss me off even more. “What?! Why?! Am I even allowed to go outside anymore?!” I screamed at him.
Then he got pissed all of a sudden. “From what I heard on that night you stole my car. That girl was the one that told you to go to that party? You were planning on having sex with her and getting drunk or something?! I thought I taught you better than that Toby!” He yelled and pounded his fist into the wall.
“No it wasn't anything like that! She was concerned about me and she thought I needed to go have fun and relax after what happened to Mom.” I said trying to explain myself and calm him down. This wasn't like him at all. He was never the type to get pissed off so easily and yell and scream.
“Really, I don't want you seeing Cora again.” He said in an angry tone. “Go to your damn room!” He yelled and I just simply said “Fine.” and then I went.
I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew that there was something he was hiding. Something he wasn't telling me. I looked for my phone but it wasn't in my room which didn't surprise me. I needed to talk to Cora, she was the only one that I could talk to and I needed to see a friendly face.
When I got to her house I threw a small rock at her window. When she got up to the window and saw me- her face turned white and then she ran away from the window. I've never seen her looked so spooked in my entire life. Then she ran out of her house and then she jumped on me, arms wrapped around me and she kissed me like she's never have before. It was actually nice for the few seconds that it lasted.
End
No that's not the entire chapter. That's just what I've written so far. What do you guys think? Good? Bad? It'll be up on FF.net when it's finished.
Astro Boy fan stories
Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Forgot to add sommething to the post.
Reason: Forgot to add sommething to the post.
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Alittleacorn
- On a Flight into Space
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That was brillent. I liked the idea of Tenma trying to pretend like everything is fine and then cutting Astro off from the outside world without giving him an explanation. Even the way Astro is confused by what's going and why his Dad got mad is really good, cause it's like 'oh yeah we know what's gong on but you don't buddy lol'.
I wonder how it'll go from then onward with him and Cora, I mean she knows he died so it's gonna be really exciting to read the next scenes XD Astro's in a shock of 'wtf i died!?'
Although I slightly confused by this line.
On the back of my arms, on my back and on the back of my legs there was long line, scar tattoo looking thing. I didn't know what it was.
Heck, even Astro doesn't know lol. There those the grooves that are around Astro's limbs? Ya know, that are around his joints.
I wonder how it'll go from then onward with him and Cora, I mean she knows he died so it's gonna be really exciting to read the next scenes XD Astro's in a shock of 'wtf i died!?'
Although I slightly confused by this line.
On the back of my arms, on my back and on the back of my legs there was long line, scar tattoo looking thing. I didn't know what it was.
Heck, even Astro doesn't know lol. There those the grooves that are around Astro's limbs? Ya know, that are around his joints.
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Astronomical girl
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AprilSeven
- Silent Song
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Alittleacorn
- On a Flight into Space
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"Alittleacorn" wrote:That was brillent. I liked the idea of Tenma trying to pretend like everything is fine and then cutting Astro off from the outside world without giving him an explanation. Even the way Astro is confused by what's going and why his Dad got mad is really good, cause it's like 'oh yeah we know what's gong on but you don't buddy lol'.
I wonder how it'll go from then onward with him and Cora, I mean she knows he died so it's gonna be really exciting to read the next scenes XD Astro's in a shock of 'wtf i died!?'
Although I slightly confused by this line.
On the back of my arms, on my back and on the back of my legs there was long line, scar tattoo looking thing. I didn't know what it was.
Heck, even Astro doesn't know lol. There those the grooves that are around Astro's limbs? Ya know, that are around his joints.
No they're not joints. The long line that is on his back that all connected on his arms, spine and legs is actually an opening. His armor is going to come out of that line on his back, I'll explain as the story continues.
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Alittleacorn
- On a Flight into Space
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Astronomical girl
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Astronomical girl
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Androids101
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