Thoughts and opinions on suicide and depression

[Ghost]

To all: it is one thing to speak about your experiences with these things, but you must not give advice! We do not want a law suit! If you do speak of your own or others experiences, you should remember to make clear that they are just that. I do not want to offend anyone, but this is very serious stuff. If my text seems to belittle your intelligence, please forgive me. It is all too easy to forget that this forum consists of everyday people whose common tie is a cute little robot boy. We care about one another, but that being the case, let us not forget that we are not qualified to give advice on this subject.

Okay, I'll keep that in mind. To be honest I posted this thread becasue of something personal happened on the day I started this thread, which I'd rather not discuss publicly. It just made me think about my life and my outlook and I wanted to hear from other people on this topic.

[Astro Boy2866]

Well, you got what you wanted

[Ghost]

How I hate reviving a thread that has been dead for months.... But I think this is important to a degree.

Now as I've told people and I most likely said this in an earlier post in this thread (I can't remember for sure) that I attempted suicide over a year ago. After I finished the 8th grade I was certain that I was no longer suicidal. I was hoping that my depression would go away, but despite everything it was still there.

I'm not sure why, maybe it is a phase I'm going through or if something is just missing in my life. Earlier today, a couple of good friends of mine decided to turn on me for reasons that I don't know. I may have ideas, but I'm not sure. One of these people described to me today how much that they hated me despite the fact that I never did anything to hurt them or their anyone close to them. This same person who does know about my suicide attempt about a year ago, also told me that no one likes me and that I should just kill myself.

Not liking someone is one thing, but telling them that they should take their own life is not only uncalled for and should never be said.. but is also something completely different. To me, saying to someone that has lost someone to suicide or has attempted suicide themselves that "Oh you should go kill yourself!" Is almost like committing murder in a way.

I usually don't let things like this get to me but this did get me thinking about my depression. It did in a way get those thoughts back into my head. I started to think about the state of my life, what everyone else's TRUE opinion of me is, how everyone would react if I died. So now I'm not positive if I am still suicidal or not. Like today, when I got home I saw one of the kitchens out on the kitchen counter and I began thinking of ways I could slash my wrists or even my throat.

So now I'm not sure if I'm alone, by alone I mean in my area. I'm not sure exactly if I can trust the people that I talk to at my school on a regular basis or what. I'm not even sure what their true opinions of me are, which is scary. I'm just really confused right now and I would appreciate some advice and light on this subject.

Feel free to post in this thread or you can drop me a PM if you wish. I just don't know anymore.

[avatargirl]

please stay safe Ghost- LOVE US TO BE FRIENDS- SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE- PLEASE NEVER EVER THINK OF HURTING YOURSELF- LETS BE FRIENDS PLEASE- THANKS WITH FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE- YOUR FRIEND AVATARGIRL ALWAYS

[Alittleacorn]

Jaaaaake! Don't you EVEN think about that!

Often some kids in teen years are usual horminal. What I mean is, they'll say and do horrible things to others they might not even consider when they're adults. However there are those few that would, in which case I give you permission to give them a knuckle sandwich, but only to be used in self defence.

Remember there's nothing wrong with you, it's them. And if they can say such things and be so cruel then they're the worthless scum, not you. Next time they say that, show them you don't give a snap what they say or think. Because if they can be your friend and turn on you like that then they're heartless and, aren't worth bothering with, let alone deserve your friendship.

If you get confronted with bullys however, just say nothing at all. Bullys feed on responses and if they get nothing then they tire of you.

Please don't go thinking such thoughts, you're such a sweetie dude. Besides don't you remember the thing you told me on the after effects it'd have on other people? You do that I'll never forgive myself!

[MightyAstro]

Please whatever you do don't kill yourself. I am a Christian and even I used to have thoughts about suicide through personal problems I went through, but I know by my faith that is not the answer to life's difficulties.

Everybody's life has to one day end eventually of course but as long as it lasts we should cherish it and seek fulfillment in finding our purpose in the world. Don't take it into your hands to choose when you should cease to be Ghost. I'm saying prayers for you.

[Novacain]

This is a subject that I really don't take lightly. I'm going to be completely honest here.

When I was 17 my father died by suicide. I say it that way because he did not 'commit' any kind of crime, but rather succumbed to a disease that plagued him his entire life. There isn't a day that goes by where it doesn't hurt. I realize that when you are in that 'dark place' you don't really care about others, but please take a moment to acknowledge how many people's lives you would change. The person that finds you and tries their damnest to revive you; your friends, both online and in real life, your family....
Since depression is quite commonly a hereditary disease it is something I face every day, and unlike a common cold, it is not something you just 'grow out of', or 'get over'. (My dad was 50 when he passed). I really recommend you seek professional help. Anything anyone will tell you here will only give you temporary peace of mind, and although that helps, I really don't think that it is enough.
I truly empathize with what you are feeling, and contrary to what people say, words can hurt you.

Stay strong.

[Xenops]

Man, I know what you are going through. I was seriously considering suicide two summers ago. Please go get some medical help to protect yourself. In my case medication has helped quite a bit. It doesn't eliminate it, but it keeps me from stressing out and hiding in my bed. As a Christian, faith also helps me, but it's not a faith issue. It's not that if I have a enough faith than I won't be depressed or anxious. People have medical issues, and for some reason God allows it. All I can do is live with it. The apostle Paul had some ailment, and he prayed for it to go away, and God said "my grace is suffiecient for you". I asked people what this meant, and they say that God is is big enough to love you whatever the ailment. It seems like a small comfort, but God allows illness, and I think that life can be worth living, if you give God a chance.

[Astro Boy2866]

Dude, life is short, don't make it shorter. There plenty of are people out there that do care about you and think that you are a pretty cool dude, but there are also people that hate for reasons you may not know. I know for a fact that one of my old friends is talking s**t about me and goes around and tells some of my personal problems to other people. So now people that could have been my friends or were my friends, hate me. I am constantly worried about me saying something wrong or doing something that would cause a friend to turn on me. So I have to see if I can change some people's views about me. I don't even know why he hates me now, we used to be great friends, but now he is probably costing me some friends and girlfriends . I've been told "no one likes you" from one of Umar's friends before when I tried to talk to him and I really wanted to punch him in the face, but I don't start fights, I only end them.

I kinda feel your pain, but not entirely. Haters gonna hate, but we have to let it go and move on.

[jeffbert]

Ghost, I have had an inferiority complex since my teens, & am now 52. This I attribute to others having teased and tormented me during childhood, but also from my caring what others thought of me. My life was ruled by a lack of confidence & supposing myself worthless. You are still young enough to overcome this. If you believe in yourself, why care what others think or say about you. These same people, though jerks now, could be among your best friends as adults, even before adulthood.

When adolescence came upon me, how I had wished that I could have stayed a little kid, despite the fact that that time of life was when others began tormenting me. The idea of me competing with able-bodied guys for the affections of able-bodied girls seemed absurd. I literally became reclusive, and did not participate in any extracurricular activities. When my family moved to a different town, I had zero contact with those from the old neighborhood. As far as I was concerned they were dead.

I have been a loser all my life, chiefly because I turned inward during my teens. I avoided asking for things, such as girlfriends & even jobs, because rejection was so horrible to me.

Do not let this happen to you. Believe in yourself!