Good Bye...

[Daichi]

[QUOTE=Daichi;80661]S-so... You guys don't want me to leave?
Really... I just wanted to go because I thought I was such a major thorn in everybody's side, seeing as I caused so many fights and all... I guess I felt like nobody wanted me around.

Maybe I am involved in this, I don't know. I realized you hadn't posted since that moment when I criticized you criticisms about GTA4. I don't know if there is a link, but if there is, you must know that I didn't want to hurt you. Well, if there isn't any link, it doesn't mean I wanted to hurt you either
[/QUOTE]

Uhh... Y-yeah. I wasn't trying to start anything. I'd just wanted to say how I felt about GTA and how I thought it was an innappropriate topic on AO... Uh... I guess that particular game series is a sensitive subject for me anyway, thanks to dear old dad ignoring me in favour of it.

But it's true. It was after those posts that I figured I'd started another fight. My feelings were hurt, and everybody seemed so ready to jump to the games' defense...

(And to my irritation, that stupid Jeffbert added his two bits in the topic talking about how he liked those games with dirty bits like when you could look in at naked women and stuff.
It's not like I mind such topics or games--I'm an anonib addict XD--but in a setting like this, especially from the same man who always complains...)

I still feel like an outcast.

That's the word: outcast. I felt as such before I used the Internet to communicate. In fact, I learned to communicate in the real world by learning on the Internet.
A forum is an excellent way to learn, if it isn't misused. In a forum, you have the possibility to speak, and above all you have the time to write and correct if what you wrote isn't written correctly. I mean before posting, not editing once it has been posted. You can do that: write your text, then read it several times and try to see how it will be perceived by others. The "preview" utility is very important for this; I don't know if you use it, but if not you should. Not only will it allow you to catch stupid typos (in this regard we never re-read enough I can tell you), but it will also allow you to change your point of view when reading. Personnally, I think at the beginning I read my texts at least 10-15 times just to be slightly sure that it would be perceived the way I wanted. You could never imagine how this text was slaughtered, re-slaughtered, and slaughtered again just for fun If I could send you the history of this text, you would roll on the floor As an autistic (kind of), I found that the Internet was an invaluable tool to learn to communicate.

Yeah... that's true. This is pretty insightful.
I'm socially awkward and have trouble making friends. Truth is, I'm only mean and sarcastic towards people because I'm... well... I'm always getting picked on.

Ever since I was a child I've been treated as an outcast. This is, honestly, the first forum I've been in since my own forum. And I feel like such a sore thumb. (Um, the expression... Sticking out.)

Just let me ask you guys. Do you really want me to stay?
Because if you do, then I will... I don't really wanna go...

You do as you wish, but it would be sad that you leave just because of this.

Learn the way, young Padawan

Really? That means a lot. Maybe I will stay. I want to.

Hey, you like Star Wars? Hey, that's so cool...

Daichi, I do not have an habit of saying things I do not think (especially on the Internet), so no, I don't want you to leave. Even before our discussion from the other day, I don't remember wishing that you would leave, it was really only about the few posts here and there that I felt could be a problem, and these were really just a small proportion of your overall contribution. I believed what you told me at that point and completely left that in the past.

Now I'm unaware of any other fight that happened since... I think I have read most of the threads but either I missed that one or I wasn't paying attention.

About what fafner just said: even with the best efforts, sometimes the message an author wants to convey gets misinterpreted. I see it all the time on the Internet. As long as people are able to clarify what they meant, then usually all is well. I know I do try to read myself over again but sometimes, it happens anyway, especially when I write in my second language. I do not have the same subtlety that I have in my native language.

Thank you, AF... You are kind. I respect you a lot, you know? No one on this forum has been just so understanding towards me, and that means more than you know.

I think I will stay. I'm trying very hard to be more clear...

Oh, by the way... It wasn't a very big fight, really... It was more like I criticized something and suddenly a whole lot of people, some I'd never seen on this forum before, ganged up against me. Not only did I feel like I'd started a fight, my feelings were hurt.

I hope I don't sound like a whiner...

[Astro Forever]

I hope I don't sound like a whiner...

No... but, huh... Was it necessary to say what you just said of another member? It's entirely possible to explain that you were hurt and that you felt a topic was inappropriate without that. We'd have understood just as well.

Now, by saying this, I do realize that perhaps you'll feel bad again, and that you may want to leave again... but this is not what I'm saying. I would like to find a way to say this and avoid hurting you, but while I understand your feelings, I also really feel for the other member you just mentionned. I thought of writing you a PM so you would feel more at ease, but if somebody had talked of me that way in public, and if it seemed that nobody had said anything, as if it was okay to say things like that, I would... actually I'm not entirely sure of how I would have felt but I would not have taken it well at all, and for good reasons IMO.

I do not share your opinion of this member, but even if I had, our first rule here asks for respect for other members, and calling somebody stupid isn't exactly respect... I wouldn't be doing my job as a moderator and as a one who loves this forum if I just turned a blind eye.

In turn, you should know that if another member wasn't respecting you, I'd let him know as well (assuming I saw it, of course). I'm not living in a fantasy world in which I expect everybody to like everybody without any conflict ever happening, but without respect, any forum, organization or group of human beings would quickly become unbearable and unpleasant. You know, I may have a feeling that somebody doesn't like me, but as long as there seems to be mutual respect, it's still possible to interact with the other person (and I'm not speaking of direct, close interaction, but just of a civil, neutral discussion). However, when it becomes open hostility, then it's just not the same atmosphere anymore.

That doesn't mean I do not feel empathy for what you experienced. It's true that the more one gets picked on, the hardest it becomes to know how to act with people around, and that in turns makes it harder to get accepted. I'd be happy if this forum could help you in any way, even if only because you have a great time here, but I want everybody to feel welcome, respected and have a great time here also, including the members you may not like.

[Daichi]

Uhh... Yeah...
I guess it's obvious. You know, I've tried really hard to get along with him, but he just... Grr.
And I feel crappy but I'm listening to you. My apologies.

No matter what I say to him, he just refuses to listen or understand or whatever. Communicating with him is just impossible!

That doesn't mean I do not feel empathy for what you experienced. It's true that the more one gets picked on, the hardest it becomes to know how to act with people around, and that in turns makes it harder to get accepted. I'd be happy if this forum could help you in any way, even if only because you have a great time here, but I want everybody to feel welcome, respected and have a great time here also, including the members you may not like.

Okay... That's true, that's exactly how I feel, exactly.
I'm sorry if I don't know how to act... But yeah, this forum is so nice, and it's kinda helping me to learn.
Thank you, AF...

[jeffbert]

Stick around. I know what it is like to feel awkward; but for me, online forums are the least awkward. Being there in-person, now that can really be uncomfortable. If only you knew--but I would hardly burden you guys with this. Daichi, if you want to know a bit about my awkward social life, PM me. But even if not, let me tell you this much: I really need this place, and all my friends, including you. I would be hurt if you left. As a mod, I realize that we sometimes have confict, & I sometimes wish I were not a mod, because it seems a hinderance to friendship.

[tonigirl1000]

Glad you are back Daichi and hope you will be a friend, if not please tell me. thanks

[1magus]

S-so... You guys don't want me to leave?
Really... I just wanted to go because I thought I was such a major thorn in everybody's side, seeing as I caused so many fights and all... I guess I felt like nobody wanted me around.

[QUOTE=Astro Forever;80645]Honestly Daichi, I'm sorry to read this, especially since I felt that we were finally managing to understand each others better... or, well, at least *I* can say that I felt I understand you better. There was really no bad feeling left on my side, especially since I felt it wasn't just you but that I had also misunderstood you, which unfortunately made my explanations different from what they would have been otherwise.

You know, that means a lot.

After I got reprimanded, I started to be more careful about how I acted, but then I still managed to get into yet another fight!! And I wondered if it was just me... I mean, I think some of the people around here think I'm a bad guy who just goes around looking for a fight. But I think my real problem is that I have trouble getting my point across, and my real meaning is misinterpreted...



Just let me ask you guys. Do you really want me to stay?
Because if you do, then I will... I don't really wanna go...[/QUOTE]

You're Cool I barely know anybody here really except the big senior members kind a hehe

[fafner]

Oh, by the way... It wasn't a very big fight, really... It was more like I criticized something and suddenly a whole lot of people, some I'd never seen on this forum before, ganged up against me. Not only did I feel like I'd started a fight, my feelings were hurt.

In fact, you had said something that was unfair, that's all. There was nothing against you personally. You don't like the game, and reading what you said in another post I can understand it, but your arguments simply didn't match

[tonigirl1000]

Anyway very glad Daichi is back

[mr skunk]

part of growing up is knowing that sometimes you'll be misunderstood or reprimanded by your superiors, it has nothing to do with people's perception on you or your personality.

I know you're not a mean person, Daichi, and I know you're not a bully. But it's hard to tell sometimes, especially on a forum, where something that's meant to be funny can be taken out of context very easily.

Of course we don't want you to go, but it might be wise to proofread your posts before you send them, just to make sure nobody will get their feelings hurt. I'm a pretty strong supporter of free speech, so this might sound like I'm flip-flopping, but if it gives people the wrong first impression on you, then what good is it? Think about your best qualities and bring those forth on the forum.

You know I feel kind of bad for not being on that much... and I hope you don't think I'm upset with you! I just go through some slow times, just like everybody else.

[Daichi]

Thank you, Mr. Skunk.
Nn, yeah, it wasn't really the reprimand... I've just been worried that I might have chased off some of the other members, and I'd thought that the remaining members didn't want me. But thanks to you and AF and Faf and Jeffbert, I see now, and I'm going to stay and try to behave myself.

From now on, I will try to be more careful in how I choose my words. I heard that if one tries reading over their post in a monotonous voice, then that might help them to better see how others might perceive it. I think I'll try that.




BTW, has anyone seen Denkou around? I wanna apologize, I think I might've hurt her feelings...